JJ: Oh you're gonna hold the baby all by yourself?
Sadie: Can I hold him? Melanie: Yeah.
JJ: Oh, look at this. Another big sister. Wow!
That's my buddy. Proud Papa.
Hey, Maddie, Cooper, wave!
Hold on, Coop.
Cooper, put your tongue out like a frog.
(Cooper giggling)
Cooper: I'm a doctor, not a marriage counselor.
(Family singing) Happy birthday, dear Momma,
Happy birthday to you.
Melanie: Hey there, big boy. (Cooper giggling)
JJ: Did you draw her a picture, Coop?
Cooper: Yeah.
Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!
JJ: What? Cooper: Can I learn how to ride a bike today ?
JJ: Yeah, you sure can.
Melanie: Yay Cooper!
JJ: Coop, run to me.
As fast as you can.
Man, you are a runner!
JJ: There's Linda. There's Lucky. Wherever we go, they go.
There's a new little calf.
JJ: Cooper was a remarkable boy;
he was a very very special boy.
I know every parent feels like their child is special,
but he was always smiling, he was always kind,
always thoughtful, had a great sense of humor,
and if there was ever such a thing as a perfect child,
it was Cooper.
Melanie: The smile never left his face.
JJ: No.
Melanie: He was born with smile, and everybody would tease me
but I saw that dimple of his in the hospital.
And then- JJ: The earliest pictures we've got,
when he's an infant, he's smiling.
JJ: But, oh, I always enjoyed- He and I wrestled
together every single afternoon.
And we'd wrestle in the floor, and Melanie said
he'd go to the window and when he'd hear me driving
up the gravel lane, he'd say, "Daddy's home!",
and he'd get so excited and he was really really lovable
and so huggable, but he's just scrunch up next to you,
and he'd just hug you and hold you
as long as you wanted to hold him.
Melanie: First day of school!
Cooper's first time ever.
You've gotten so big.
Alright, I love y'all and y'all have a good day at school.
Lauren: Be careful today.
Melanie: Cooper, Coop!
Wahoo!
Melanie: And there's Mrs. Garland.
Rob: I've known the Jasper's for about ten years,
and we met them when they enrolled their oldest daughter,
in our school,
and we've just become friends over the years.
And as each of their children have been born,
we were there at the hospital when they were born.
We were excited when Cooper came along,
and excited for them to have a boy.
And I know that JJ was so excited about that,
and Melanie too.
Mrs. Garland: I enjoy teaching, but some children
make your job more enjoyable,
and he was one of those children that did.
He was a, just a very special child to everyone
that knew him.
This is his classroom here, I teach
four year old kindergarten and five year old kindergarten,
and Cooper sat in this seat right here.
He was a very good student, and we was a perfectionist,
he always tried to please everybody,
his parents, Brother Rob, he always wanted Brother Rob
to be happy with him and always wanted to
please me and be a top-notch student.
JJ: He goes to a school that's really strict and
they don't give out anything, you have to earn
everything, and he got the highest award you could get.
And that was Cooper, I was amazed that I was already
learning so many things from him.
Cooper: My first trophy!
JJ: Because he was so committed to excellence,
and he did everything a hundred percent.
He didn't have to do anything, and sometimes
that's not the case with me.
I'll cut corners or I'll be half-hearted about stuff,
but I remember just marveling and saying,
"Lord, how good are you, how real are you,
what a master craftsmen, that you can make
a little person like that, that is so- that is so amazing
and so well balanced."
Melanie: Every morning, when I'd get them up for school,
I'd wake the girls up and they take a little
while to get up, you know, they need
about ten minutes to get the grogginess out,
and I'd go climb in bed with him and I'd say,
"Scoot over, I've got five minutes I can lay here
with you." And I'd just snuggle with him for about
five minutes.
Oh, that was just the best snuggle time.
And then I'd get him dressed and the girls were
big enough to get themselves dressed.
And we had this little tradition, he'd jump on my back
from his bed and we'd run down the stairs with
him on my back, and we'd eat breakfast every morning,
with the girls, but it was just a fun memory.
Its made school mornings difficult though.
JJ: But it seemed like just the past few months,
I was tucking him in bed every night, and we'd get
under the covers and we'd have, you know, we'd have
a little flashlight and we would tell stories,
and he would just laugh all over himself, he had just
an amazing sense of humor, and loved loved to laugh,
but we'd just get under the covers and laugh
and tell stories and just all of those little things.
He was just the perfect student and the perfect little brother,
perfect child, the perfect little grandson,
and everybody that ever met him would tell you that.
And if there was such a thing as a perfect child,
it was Cooper.
Melanie: Maddie and him were inseparable.
People would ask me everyday, "Are they twins?"
Everyday at Walmart, or wherever we might be,
"Oh, look, are they twins?"
"No."
They look a lot alike, and they were absolutely...
JJ: Best friends. Melanie: Best friends.
JJ: You never saw one without the other.
Melanie: And then he and Sadie had a real unique
relationship too, they loved each other so much.
She would come in and play with him and maddie and it
was just so much fun to listen to the joy that
they had together, just being together.
JJ: And then him and Lauren are the most alike.
Melanie: The most alike. Him and Lauren.
JJ: And they had a special relationship.
Melanie: Yep, very special relationship.
Lauren, Lauren just had a real special place
in her heart for Cooper.
Lauren: Maddie, Sadie- JJ: They need more sugar.
Lauren: Maddie, Cooper, on the count of three!
We're going to say "victory".
One, two, three. Kids: Victory!
Melanie: Yeah, they all got along real well, real well.
It was just fun to listen to them.
They, well they had this trampoline in the
back yard and everyday they would get on that
trampoline, the four of them.
They had the sides on there and they would zip
it up like it was their house, even Lauren.
And they would be out there playing,
and they would create little plays.
JJ: I guess we're a cooky crazy family, and you know
that's the thing about it, as a family, we love the
Lord, and He's number one in our life.
And we try our best to glorify God, and we fall short,
we've got a lot to learn and a long way to go,
but we love the Lord.
And then we love our family with passion,
and anytime, anybody, I think any parent,
any good parent, when you hear of some little child drowning
in a swimming pool, even if its the next county over,
you feel like you just take a shot to the stomach
because you say, "How are those parents
ever going to be right, how are they ever going
to put one foot in front of the other?"
And its just the craziest, most bizarre thing
because now we're those parents.
But, nobody loved their children more then we do,
nobody was a more over- protective mom then Melanie.
Melanie: Hey, Honey, thats not real safe, you think?
JJ: Maddie, come here, don't do that.
Melanie: Be careful.
JJ: Hold on tight.
We always counted heads, we never let anybody leave
our house without making sure we had
our eyes on the children.
Somebody says "Well, I think Sadie's inside"
We say "No, we want to see them" And you know,
people gave us a hard time because we were so
over-protective and again, its just,
it still seems like a bad dream.
And its every parents worst nightmare
when you lose a child.
But we did everything we could to be cautious,
and to be safe, and careful with our children.
The day of the accident, I was going to mow, and so
I went out, and the little small mower needed
the spark plug changed, so I found the spark plug wrench
and I loosened it a little bit and I got it
ready for him and then I went in the house and
I said "I need your help."
And of course he was so excited.
Melanie: He would say, "Come on Cooper,
come go with me", and you let him do all the work
and that always impressed me about you,
your patience.
JJ: Alright, Coop, let me see what you got going on there.
Concentrate. Start it straight up.
There you go. Good job!
Look there, look at the mechanic go.
JJ: And he did it, tried to affirm and encourage
him while he was taking the spark plug out,
and actually we gave Melanie the spark plug to go
to the store to get a spark plug.
So he and I were riding on the riding lawn mower,
and he was sitting on my lap.
I so enjoyed telling him how proud I was of him,
and how much I loved him, and what a joy he was
in our life, because he was so easy to love.
And thats when I said well, you know, I want us to,
I guess I've always got to be doing something
so thats when I said, "You want to ride
the dune-buggy?"
And we agreed to do that.
Melanie: Its neat how the Lord prepares you,
or looking back you can see traces of his hand
and how he was preparing us for this.
Cooper had been wanting me to put training wheels
back on a bicycle that had been Maddie's previously,
and I didn't put them off, we had just been busy.
So that night before, he said, "Mom, will you put
the training wheels on my bike tomorrow?"
and I said, "Yeah, I will".
The first thing he said when he woke up is
"Mom, you said you would put my training wheels on,
will you put my training wheels on?"
And so we didn't even eat breakfast, we went out
and I found the training wheels and I thought
I had thrown them away, they had been off for a few years,
and I found them and he ran in the house saying,
"Mom I found my training wheels!"
And I had the best time with him getting to watch
him ride that bike with the training wheels,
and just played with him all day.
But they had sent me to the store to get
a spark plug and I was going to get some groceries, too.
And so this friend of mine who had lost a child,
it had been seventeen years ago that she lost that child,
and I had never been with her
that she didn't speak of him.
And she had just been on my mind and on my heart
so heavy, and I prayed for her for thirty minutes
on the way to the store.
JJ: You were praying for somebody who had lost their son...
Melanie: "Lord, even though it was so long ago,
I can not imagine the loss of a child,
and how painful it must still be, even today."
And I prayed for her the entire trip, not knowing
that thirty minutes later, I was going to
get this phone call.
JJ: And a couple days before, a little child in
a town over, had found a hand-gun, and was just
a small child, had accidentally shot
and killed himself, and we were praying for that
family, and we didn't even know who it was,
but we were just- any parent, when you hear of a family
thats lost a small child, it just breaks your hear.
And we were praying for them and a night or two
before the accident, I was putting out hay for the
cattle, and the stars were out and I looked up at
the stars thinking about that accident and I said,
"Lord, you know me better then anybody.
And just between me and you, please, please,
please protect my babies, because I can't make
any promises on how I'd react, I just don't know that
I would be able to love you, and praise you, and serve you.
You know, they would just have to put me down,
or put me in a mental institution.
I just cannot imagine life without one of our children,
if something happened to one of them."
So I was crying out to the Lord, "Please, please
don't let anything happen to one of our children."
I was just thinking about that, and dwelling on that.
And the carnal, fleshly side is saying, "Well,
I jinxed it and the devil heard my fears
and caused that to happen."
But God's bigger then all that, and he's not going
to make his decisions based on us being frill.
But that was on my mind a couple nights before the
accident, and Melanie was praying for somebody
on the way to Walmart.
So even before we knew it, we saw that he was doing
things behind the scenes to prepare us.
JJ: Cooper and I went riding in the dune-buggy,
kind of an over-sized go-cart, and we were going
up and down the dirt lane, and having so much fun.
Then after we were through riding, the last thing we
did was completely level, and Cooper was buckled in,
I was just going to do what we always call, do a donut.
I just turned the wheel and I floured it and spin
around a couple of times, then just go back to the house.
You know again, completely level with him buckled in,
with a full roll cage, I just turned and floored it,
and the dune-buggy just flopped over.
Melanie: I get this call, and it was JJ and he said,
"Honey, theres been an accident, and I don't
think Cooper's going to make it."
The only thing I could pray the whole way home,
I just kept thinking "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus."
All the way home I just kept saying his name.
"Please breath life into my baby."
JJ: The two little girls were there, and they
were helping me pray when I said "Daddy's going to
need you to pray because Cooper's hurt bad."
And they just put their hands up in the air and
started crying out to the Lord, "Lord, we need a miracle.
We need you to touch him and heal him."
They had their hands up in the air crying out to
a holy God who hears and answers prayer.
Melanie: I pulled up to the scene, and they were
working on Cooper.
JJ: You just collapsed.
Rob: Once they got him to the hospital, they worked on
him for a while, and the nurse came out to get me
to be with the family, and when I got back there,
they told me that he had passed.
When I got to the room, I really didn't know what to expect.
I knew that there would be overwhelming grief
with the loss of a son.
JJ and Melanie were weeping, but when JJ
looked up his first words were, "The Lord giveth and
the Lord taketh away, blessed be the name of the Lord."
And to see that much faith was just amazing.
(Phone ringing)
Jeremy: On the day of Cooper's accident,
we were at camp, and we, my wife and I,
serve as youth pastors, and we would take Lauren,
our niece, with us to camp.
Lauren: Every year, the camp has a new theme,
and last year's theme happened to be, "Flip: Your life can
be flipped upside down with one phone call."
JJ: And when you get that phone call, do you know Jesus?
Melanie: Its when, its not if, its when.
JJ: Are you right with the Lord?
Are you in right relationship with God?
This is not a game, this is real.
Jeremy: We would have never dreamed that inside
twenty-four hours, we would have received that phone call.
(Phone ringing)
Lauren: My uncle Jeremy gets a call,
and its my dad, and he says, "Lauren, your dad
wants to talk to you."
And I was like, "Okay."
And I just new, my heart was pounding
and I was just like "Oh, no.
I just didn't want to hear this."
JJ: But I said, "I want you to dwell on everything
that you've learned, and I know you've had some
experiences with God, and I need you to hold on to
everything you know of who He is, cause I've got some
really tough news to tell you."
Lauren: And I didn't say anything, I just held my breath,
and he just said, "Cooper's not with us anymore."
And from there, I dropped the phone, and I fell on
my knees, and I was on the floor for, no kidding you,
about twenty minutes just crying.
JJ: Immediately after the accident, when I unbuckled
Cooper, and held him in my arms.
There's not a class or book on this planet
that prepares you to have your five year old son
die in your arms.
I cant describe the combination of shock,
and overwhelming grief, and horror, and sense of loss,
and sense of desperation, to hold my best friend,
and someone who is so so alive, so vibrant,
and such a zeal on a love for life, one second, and then
the next second to hold him in my arms
and see him pass from this life, to the next.
Greg: So, JJ and them get home, and they're in total
shock, you know, they're just on complete shock.
Clay: When they drove up, I remember JJ getting out
of the vehicle and I remember just this,
this blank hollow look on his face, and him saying,
"I took my son's life."
And I was like, "No, you didn't. You didn't."
And he said, "I did it, I took my son's life,
I was in charge, it happened on my watch."
JJ: The fact that I was driving, I was driving the
dune-buggy when it flipped over, you know,
when something like this happens, you start trying
to back track and you say, "If only the riding lawn
mower hadn't broken."
Because we were riding the mower, and it just
suddenly stopped, and we jumped on the dune-buggy
to find something to do.
And then you start saying, "If only we hadn't moved
to the farm, and if only- and then you start backing
up to the place where you say, "If only my parents hadn't
met and got married, this never would have happened.
And you can drive yourself crazy backing up, trying to,
trying to fix something in the timeline, that triggered
this train of events that led to this tragedy.
I'm trying to find a place between God being
sovereign and me being a little bit negligent.
I know if I hadn't that if I hadn't been going just a
little too fast, and turn just a little too sharp,
you that, that wouldn't have happened.
And having said that, I wasn't showing off,
and I don't feel that I was being reckless,
he was buckled in and it was a perfectly level area.
But that's going to require a lifetime of grace, you know.
Greg: So Clay and I spent the night there,
and we finally get them to go to bed.
Clay: And then you would just hear these awful
groans and screams come from upstairs from JJ.
And you would hear this almost unhuman sound,
just this wailing from his soul.
Not necessarily questioning God,
but questioning why.
He would just belt out, "Why?"
Chris: You know thats the age-old question: "Why do
bad things happen to good people?"
And I don't know if God will ever reveal any of
those things to us, certainly not Job.
You know, Job lost all his children, and all his
wealth, you might say cattle, in one day.
Randall: JJ and Melanie's journey, JJ would not like
me comparing him to Job, I suppose, but they're journey
is stretched out over a longer period of time.
But they faced the diagnosis and real quick
death of her father, by cancer, they lost a baby
during pregnancy, JJ was hospitalized for a month
with his own injury when his horse threw him.
And all these things built up to, not too long before
Cooper's death.
Chris: In all this, Job sinned not, nor charge God
foolishly, he never lost his integrity.
Randall: The first thing he did, apparently,
was to fall to the ground and worship.
And he acknowledged, "The Lord has given,
the Lord has taken away. May the name
of the Lord be blessed."
And JJ mirrored that even in that hospital room,
when the doctor pronounced Cooper dead.
Chris: He said, "Even though he slay me,
yet will I trust in Him" Randall: May the Name of
the Lord be praised, even in my grief.
Chris: But bad things happen to good people.
Even Jesus said, "It rains on the just and
on the unjust alike."
Troubles are going to come, they're going to
come to all of us, saved, lost, righteous, unrighteous.
They're just going to come.
And the things that happen to us in life, do not
determine what kind of person we are, it's how we
respond to those things that happen to us in our life.
And so I got to witness JJ and Melanie responding
in a Christ-like manner, in all these things.
It was, it was amazing.
JJ: The Scripture says that everyone has an
appointed time to die, and it's at times like this that
the only way to keep your sanity is to rest
and believe in the sovereignty of God.
Melanie: Well, it didn't catch the Lord by surprise.
He absolutely knew what was to take place.
And we had a pastor-friend that evening that came
over to the house, and JJ was beating up on himself
pretty hard, you know, and he said, "JJ, you could
have carried that baby around on a feathered
pillow all day long, JJ: And he could have choked
on his food that night.
Melanie: But something could have happened, it
was his time to go.
You don't know why, you only have them for five years,
but I sure do trust the Lord.
He has the big picture in his hands.
Rob: A puzzle piece, we look at a puzzle piece,
we can't make out the entire picture.
All we have is one piece of the puzzle, and we
don't understand what that piece of the puzzle means,
and we don't understand that event in life,
why that had to take place.
But when God looks at our lives, He sees the whole picture.
I took a puzzle piece much like this one and wrote on
the back Romans 8:28, and the date of Cooper's death,
and gave that puzzle piece to JJ and Melanie.
Chris: Romans 8:28 says "And we know that
all things work together for good to them that love God."
That includes the bad things, and so to be
founded upon that rock and to know that bad things
are going to happen.
Jesus says, "In this world ye shall have tribulation,
but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."
So, we know, as christians, that tribulation
is going to come, okay?
And we know that God is sovereign, even though we
can't figure it out.
Job, many times through the Book of Job, he would say,
"If I could get an audience with God, I would order
my calls up a right to Him." I would ask
Him questions, basically, is what he was saying.
Why do these things happen?
And in Job's case, God never told him,
but Job knew that God was sovereign.
In chapter 38 of Job, when God did begin to speak to
Job, He said, "Now, Job, I want to ask you a few questions.
Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth?
Declare if you know."
God began to show him His sovereignty.
He began to show him how great He was,
that He is the potter and we are the clay.
It says in Jeremiah, "And I'll do with whatsoever I will."
JJ and Melanie were founded then upon that
rock, and they knew God, and they knew that through
these trials, they would overcome.
And its because of that sovereignty that they were
able to hide under the shadow of God's wings,
until these collimates were over pass, the Psalmist said.
So knowing God's sovereignty is paramount,
in a christians life, because these trials
and troubles are going to come.
JJ: I can't overstate the importance of the Holy
Spirit, the power of God's Word, His love, even in
the midst of a valley, even in a storm of life,
even in a tragedy, God's nature, God's character
doesn't change, He's still a good God.
Chris: His goodness is from generation
to generation, His mercy is everlasting.
JJ: He's still faithful.
Now you have questions, you get angry,
people grieve in all different kinds of ways,
but it doesn't change the fact that He's the Potter
and we're the clay.
He's the Shepherd and we're the sheep.
Chris: And his goodness is, that grace is sufficient,
in these trials that we have,
that he is there with us to help us.
JJ: We're not like those who grieve with no hope,
we know that we will see Cooper again.
He asked Jesus into his heart- Melanie: November 17th, of '08,
JJ: Right. Melanie: The year before.
JJ: And as a believer, thats what differentiates
someone who knows Jesus, every event in your life,
a wedding, a funeral, a tragedy, everything goes
back to a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
Have you realized your need for God?
Have you repented of your sins? Have you received Jesus
Christ into your heart and life by faith?
We know of families, that their marriage didn't make
it after a tragedy, we know of people
that have turned to drugs and alcohol.
But as Christians, as born-again believers,
we know that Christ is real, He's real to us and our
family, and thats the hope that we've got, we've got
that promise that having a relationship with Jesus
Christ, that's whats central to being able to
make it through this, to put one foot in front of the other.
Its because of the Cross.
Just seconds after it seemed evident that Cooper
had not made it, everything inside of me,
every fiber was crying out. Nobody's going to understand
how much this hurts, nobody's going to understand this loss.
There's nobody thats going to understand what it
feels like to lose your only son, and as soon as
those thoughts came out of my mind, the immediate
answer was, "Oh, but there's one.
There's one who absolutely understands what its like
to lose His only son, and thats the crux of the
Gospel, "For God so loved the world, that He gave
His only son, that whosoever believeth in Him,
shall not perish, but have everlasting life."
So, God knows, He knows what its like to lose His son.
I knew it intellectually, I knew it by faith,
and now we know it by experience, and we know
that He can absolutely help you no matter what
you're going through, no matter what you're going through.
The storm's of life are going to come.
Just like he was with Shadrach, Meshach,
and Abed-Nego in that firry furnace, He was the fourth man
in that fire. When they looked in the furnace and saw the
three Hebrew children, they saw one like into the Son of God.
And He was with Joseph, He was with Daniel in the Lions' Den,
and He'll be with each person that will trust Him,
that will look to Him.
What we've gone through, its a nightmare,
every parents' nightmare. I cant minimize the grief,
and the weeks, and the weeks after the accident, the moment
our eyes would open, we would hold each other and
sob uncontrollably. And then we would go downstairs, and we had
just a strong network of friends, family and friends
would be there, for lack of a better word, it was a real nice
distraction. Then at the end of the day, when we got into our
rooms, we would hold ourself and sob uncontrollably until we
fell asleep. This happened day in and day out for weeks.
Its been cruel, a cruel kind of pain emotionally.
We know what the bottom looks like and I don't
think you can go any lower then losing a child.
Having said that, we know what the bottom looks
like, and we know who's there waiting for you.
Jesus is absolutely right there to catch you with
open arms, and His grace really is sufficient,
but the Lord's been faithful, faithful to His character,
faithful to his Word, faithful to his promise.
Melanie: There really is a peace that passes all understanding.
You know, you've said the scriptures as a child,
and you've heard it your whole life, but it truly is
a peace that passes all understanding.
And you cant explain it, how you can get up,
and wake up, and put one foot in front of the other,
but God is so good, and He has carried us through this.
Lauren: Cooper Jasper as Peter Parker and-
Cooper: Tarzan! Batman and Robin!
(Cooper doing Tarzan noises)
JJ: Cooper was real excited about action hero's, and one
particular one was, whenever he would turn into something-
Melanie: The Human Torch of the Fantastic Four. He loved him.
JJ: He would say "flame on" when he wanted to go
fast on the wave runner, when we would do stuff and
he wanted to go fast, he would say "flame on",
and we were going down this dirt road and I would slow
down to a crawl, and it would dawn on him and he
would look up and cackle and say "flame on",
and I would floor it again and again and well,
after the accident it dawned on me that
Cooper's last words were, "flame on."
And so a pastor-friend of ours is a principle and a coach,
and he got to use that to share that with a football team and
he shared the verse about "fan the flame that is within you"
and you don't know how many years your going to be given on
this earth and not do things half heartedly,
but do everything with 100 percent and "flame on" for
the Lord Jesus Christ.
Clay: You know, how cool is that to say that you
left this earth with your dad in control, your super
hero dad, and then you blinked your eyes and
you woke up in Heaven with your other super hero dad,
and he was saying, "Flame on, dad! Go faster, dad!
Give it all you got, dad!"
He was so proud of his dad, he loved his dad.
So thats what we were doing, we were flaming on
with God's help, we were flaming on through that,
that horrible, tragic situation.
On the hardest day of your life, go to the deepest
thing you know about God, and hang on.
♪ Music
Someone came up to me yesterday, lost his wife,
and he went into a room, sat down,
and said, "What do I know about God on
this, the worst day of my life?"
And he wrote these things: "I know that God is good,
God is faithful, God is sovereign.
Nothing catches God off guard.
Jesus Christ lives in me, my sins are forgiven.
I know for certain that I am going to Heaven.
He never makes a mistake. God loves me unconditionally.
God uses everything that touches my life for my good.
God uses everything that touches my life
to accomplish His purpose.
God's grace is totally sufficient, God's plans
for me are for my welfare.
God's will for me is good, perfect and acceptable.
God heals, God delivers, God sets the captives free.
God gives joy in the midst of adversity.
God will see me through this storm,
God will provide my every need.
I don't have to carry my burdens alone with the
fear of anxiety and worry.
I don't have to live in fear of the future,
I don't have to live in the shame of my past failures."
♪ Music